at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
