Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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