I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
