Soap is not a condiment
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize