Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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