So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
