This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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