I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
