there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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