If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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