we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
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My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
where are my eyebrows?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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