I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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