He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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