All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The adults are the big ones right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
