He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
oh god the rape fog is back!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dicks are not precious.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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