So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am spending my child support on dildos
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
