Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
