quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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