eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
