Pappa wants mamma naked
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
