I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
