I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
