U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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