hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
