billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
