I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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