this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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