i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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