Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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