I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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