No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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