dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
