he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
