The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
