It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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