dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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