a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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