Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
