i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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