Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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