he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
