he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
