So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize