All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
