I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
