quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
