I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize