sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
