You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
