PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
