why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
