sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize