if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's never too late to be topless.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
