So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
