I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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