Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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