then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
