No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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