Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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