the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
