Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
