DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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