Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
