it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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